When Daria Kozielska and her husband became first time parents to Sebastian, in October 2017, they were overjoyed at the arrival of their son. However, Daria began to feel very isolated being at home alone with Sebastian every day, while her husband was working. In this blog Daria shares why the support of the Perinatal Support Service has been so valuable.
When Sebastian was born, I really didn’t think I needed any support. Prior to my maternity leave, I had been in a full-time job where you are always surrounded by people and conversation. I don’t have any family here in Bradford and my husband works full-time, so I was suddenly on my own with this little baby to care for but with no other company until my husband came home from work.
Lynne took the time to ask me how I was feeling
At five weeks old, I had taken Sebastian to be weighed and one of the health visitors, Lynne, took the time to sit down with me and ask me how I was feeling. I told her that I had been feeling really isolated and that I felt very down. It seemed to take me at least two hours to get ready to go out if I wanted to go out, so I wasn’t bothering.
She told me all about the Perinatal Support Service weekly group that I could go to, where other mums were going through similar feelings to me. I decided to give it a go and I am really glad that I did – it was so good to be able to talk about how I was feeling and it was wonderful to meet other mums that were going through the same things as me.
Each week, the group covers a different topic such as understanding how a baby’s brain is developing, how to play with your baby, dealing with emotions and frustration and I personally found the session called ‘still-faced’ so interesting and enlightening. It was all about how your baby is always trying to connect to you and communicate by looking at your facial expression. It showed if you ignore your baby, then they become less trusting of you.
You don’t need to spend a lot of money on toys – they just need to look at your face
I am using a lot of what I am learning in mine and Sebastian’s life – you don’t need to spend lots of money on toys – they just need to look at your face and hear your voice!
Attending the Perinatal Support Service groups have made such a big difference in my life. I no longer take as long to get ready to go anywhere – that battle was one I was creating in my own mind. I am attending more groups and am going to start the HENRY project next. I’m really going to miss the groups when I go back to work full-time!
When you have a baby, you are provided with an overload of leaflets that are just overwhelming to look at and take in. I feel so lucky that Lynne came over to talk to me and tell me about local groups and especially the Perinatal Support Service. She helped me to get out and about and make new friends.
You can read more about the Perinatal Support Service and how to access support here.